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CURIOUS INDEX, 1/2/2009

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Abuse of reality and the terms that describe it. Nittany Lions qb Daryl Clark on USC's handy 38-24 victory over Penn State, demonstrating a healthy ability to forget the bad and inconvenient things that happen to you, which is very psychologically healthy but should not be confused for genuine analysis in any way, shape or form:

"We were ready for everything they threw at us," said Penn State's Daryll Clark.

Except for precision passing and Mark Sanchez's ability to roll out of the pocket and USC's defense, which for one half at least was in such a lather they were taking each other out of the game with vicious applied force.

Now please cue the overreaction and possible suggestion of a split national title, especially now that ESPN will point out that the Pac-10 went 5-0 this bowl season against BYU, Pitt, Oklahoma State, Miami, and Penn State. Okay, 4-0 against BYU, Oklahoma State, Miami, and Penn State, since you can't count the three hours of stale fart constituting the Sun Bowl.

10 penalties, 100 yards. The most physical play South Carolina made all day long involved Eric Norwood throwing Clifton Geathers to the ground to prevent him from brawling with Iowa players and increasing the atrocious penalty yardage total for the Gamecocks. Steve Spurrier the White sat on the sideline contemplating white shores and addressing Hobbits stoically about fate while watching his team take hammers to the face from Shonn Greene, because the real Steve Spurrier died in a plane crash in 2001, and we continue to believe this to keep our worldview intact.

Cullen Harper likes to pirouette. Corn Nation is flipping out gleefully, but they should thank Cullen Harper's bizarre tendency to pirouette into pressure for the red zone stand preserving Nebraska's 26-21 win in the Gator Bowl. Harper clearly hit the point you see rookie qbs hit in the NFL when they attempt to scramble out of trouble and find themselves covered in 500 pounds of angry linebacker, but did it at a most unfortunate time: three minutes to go, and with Carl Pelini pouring pressure on him from every angle.

Hey! That happened! Orange Bowl, Virginia Tech won, and nothing interesting happened whatsoever outside of 265 pound TE Glenn Boone running that most cleverly named of Wildcat variations, the "Wild Turkey."

NOOOOOOOOOO. EDSBS All-Awesome team qb Rohan Davey has made some poor career choices. We'd worry more, but Davey was 54 when he started for LSU, making him near retirement age at this point. Jail may be a kind of freebie retirement home at this point.