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CURIOUS INDEX, 12/31/08

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LEMSDAAAAAAAYYYYY!!! Multiple sources have daCoachO going to LSU, as what was rumor is now semi-fact. The Orgeron will pull down massive money for an assistant--some $600K a year--and will double with John Chavis as half of the Mighty Mend needed to fix the LSU defense rent asunder in 2008 by many an SEC offense.


The Orgeron! Tested in STORM FORCE WINDS, just like the state of Louisiana.

It's not done yet, but it's leaning toward done. So call the Orgeron a firm maybe at this point.

You'll love the defense, but miss the combover. UCLA defensive coordinator Dewayne Walker will coach New Mexico State, replacing Hal Mumme. Walker inherits a Hal Mumme team, meaning he will have to install many patches to get them up and working properly, including the innovative step of playing 11 men on defense on every play.

Havili out with Fractured GPA. Stanley Havili, USC's starting fullback and one of their better receivers, actually, is out for the Rose Bowl Game Match Event Set Contest because he are academikally inelegibul. This means USC, as the last team to actually still use a fullback in college besides States Ohio and Penn, will have to make do with a merely awesome five-star freak in relief.

You can't swim to Iowa, either. Tony Barnhart writes:

1. Can John Chavis parachute in to coach the LSU defense tonight?

No, because he would bounce off the roof of the Georgia Dome. We would like to see that, though, if only to watch LSU fans attempt to cushion his fall with a hasty crash pad of fried turkeys and hush puppies.

You nasty bastard, you. Robert Marve can transfer...TO THE MOON.