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CURIOUS INDEX, 12/17/08

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YOUR VIEW: It sucks.

From the LA Times Best Sports Photos of 2008, which also features a great shot of Kahlil Bell making some dentist good money at a Fresno State player's expense.

Tonight, we'll go fifteen whole minutes before finishing. The flowers, the expensive dinner, the candles, the special--you're not!---oh yeah, baby. The Isley Brothers. You might get your warm-up stroke on to something else, but tonight? We're cranking out the firm tidal pelvic tsunami strong and steady to Groove With You. What we're trying to say is: your triple-options are passion, love, and a contract extension that will put you in a trance of pleasure so intense it'll knock you out to the Peach Bowl. You go 9-3 in year one and beat Georgia, and that's just the kind of lovin' you get.

The Hoff. Say no more. What can unite shot-chugging Arizona coeds and clipboard-carrying Mormons? Hasselhoff singing the national anthem.

Why not make it 30 years and save the effort? JoePa gets a three year extension. More on this, but consider this: Joe Pa has been at Penn State since the Korean War. In theory, JoePa's lifespan as a football coach at one university could be longer than the entire existence of North Korea as a nation. Zombie coach versus zombie nation: GO! TO THE FINISH!!!

Octaroon power! Jay Jacobs responds in a most politically correct fashion to any and all questions about the hiring of Gene Chizik at Auburn. Did you know he lost his virginity on a pool table in a hot interracial scene? Us neither.