For starters, you could try this BWHAHAHAHAHAHAH:
Available now on Amazon. If you’d like to get us something else, you can buy Mike Freeman, Oxford graduate and PhD candidate at Awesometown University, a clue.
(Actually, there is something you can get EDSBS for Christmas, but we’ll get on that tomorrow.)
ps. Also: Colt McCoy is accurate in ways you hadn’t imagined.
Florida will take the month plus between now and the BCS title game to heal up, something the Gators desperately need to do considering both injuries brought into the SEC Championship game and a few they picked up in the Korean street riot of the game itself. Kestahn Moore sprained his knee, Percy Harvin’s Ferrari legs are up on blocks for the moment (though he may run as soon as later this week) and Chris Rainey has a groin problem. (Overuse.)
Even at the college level we are talking about precise athletes with a deep understanding of their own bodies and their strengths. Rainey, for example, has a very precise understanding of his own pain, according to the Gainesville Sun.
He’s received cortisone shots before each game to take some of the pain away, but Rainey said that it only cures about 93 percent of the pain.
That seven percent is a motherfucker, though it’s nice to know his body post-cortisone shot only charges him a sales tax-comparable pain fee for injury.
Chris Rainey, seen here wearing exactly 53 percent of a shirt, should be at least 92 percent for the bowl game.
We now present the only guide to bowl watching you’ll need: every bowl game previewed in just ten words each.
EagleBank Bowl: Wake Forest vs. Navy, Washington, D.C. RFK Stadium Dec. 20, 11 a.m., ESPN.
Take early “working” lunch! Eat piggishly.Fall asleep on desk.
That app combo plate is a devastator.
New Mexico Colorado State vs. Fresno State, Albuquerque University Stadium Dec. 20, 2:30 p.m. ESPN
It takes ten words to say: “You won’t watch this.”
magicJack St. Petersburg Bowl! Memphis vs. South Florida, St. Petersburg. Fla, Tropicana Field, Dec. 20, 4:30 p.m. ESPN2
Bonus of covering this? Hustling shuffleboard money, meds off geezers. (more…)
Steve Sarkisian is robo-calling you from the Washington Huskies’ burnt-out football offices. It has to sound something like this:
MP3 File
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In case you missed it: The FOX BCS Selection Show was amazing.
Not ready to be drafted by the Lions. Or any other horrible team in a city you don’t care about with your only consolation being millions upon millions of sweet American dollars. It’s a brutal life, that adulthood, and Colt McCoy has announced he’s bypassing it for another year in college Babylon. While we’re sure he’s staying for Austin’s legendary indie rock scene, the football has to help, as well. Paperwork? They say the world looks down on bureaucrats, they say they’re anal, compulsive and weird. Hate Tim Tebow for your own perverse reasons, but not because he’s a born bureaucrat. Because he’s not: Tebow also indicated to the Gainesville Sun that he hasn’t sent in the paperwork that initiates the process of having the NFL tell him what his status likely would be in the draft. “Paperwork?” asked Tebow. “I don’t know.” We say that the complete lack of paperwork qualifies as a lean towards staying for his senior season. Then again, the complete lack of paperwork filed prior to graduation in the Swindle household would have indicated a desire to return for a fifth year of college, too. Are you looking for a new gym? Consider George O’Leary’s version of Crossfit, where you get no excuses! Or water. May cause old-school toughness, increased cardiovascular capacity, and kidney failure. Again. That’s…that’s about right. Hitler would have loved style points, though if you’re putting current coaches in Wehrmacht uniforms, you know Nick Saban would have looked most comfortable in the gray and black. (Urban Meyer’s in the Omar Bradley fatigues; Mark Richt is in the Rommel pose with the desert gear; Pete Carroll is in the MacArthur khakis; Steve Spurrier has the Claire Chennault leather jacket; Les Miles is wearing an outlandish Polish Cavalry uniform with an ostrich plumed tricorne hat and charging on horseback at a tank.) |
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How much butt did Georgia supply on Saturday?
Total Voters: 1,688
Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
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