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IF WE LOSE, YOU LOSE: THE ALABAMA BET

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Todd has been daring us into making some kind of "theatrical bet" surrounding the Alabama/Florida SEC Championship. First, there was the proposal of various school-affiliated fight songs, a proposal dismissed as being "done" and "lame;" then the discussion of singing state-affiliated fight songs, and then one thing leading to another, and then the final toxic decision turning this football bet into a true Doctor Strangelove scenario.

Come Alabama or Florida victory, one thing is certain: you all lose. The loser of the game must record in a fashion of their choosing a version of the Creed song of their choice and post it on their website. Sadly, as it is not an offical Creed song, "Gibba Gab" is not eligible, or we'd be warming up our best "DURKA-DOOOOOOO" in the event of a loss.

You're welcome, and when Todd is on Youtube blaring out "Higher" at a karaoke bar in Birmingham doing his best strip-mall Jesus poses, you may blame not us, but Alabama football for the scars your mind will bear afterward. Conversely, should Florida lose, we're going to Mary's and apologizing in advance to the collected crowd of bears and twinks for the horrendous version of the execrable "Arms Wide Open" we'll shit out of our mouths on video for you.

The SEC Championship: where we all lose no matter who wins. We take your suggestions for presentation, song choice, and costumes below.