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Then I see Rose Bowl slots walk awaayyyyy... So many people have come and gone. Their faces fade as they run on by...[/sung by Oregon State defenders to anyone carrying the ball against Oregon]

Weirdest. Soundtrack choice. Ever. (Well, there is this. But for now, using Boston holds the crown.)

HUR HURR A GURL. Joel does the just thing with the A GURL TOUCH TOUCH crowd re: Layla Kiffin, who will now be the upskirt shot target for hundreds of internet papparazzi. Incidentally, he's pretty happy with the initial presser, though the idea of a coach saying something interesting at a press conference clearly had the K-ville press corps on their backs with bellies exposed begging for a tummy rub.

Doing something, at least. It's message board spec, but someone's head should roll after the hemophiliac defense played in Baton Rouge this year. One particular juicy rumor now involves a struggle for the soul of the Orgeron, who after being rumored to be a lock for Lane Kiffin's staff may have LSU piling up the pelt wagon to trade with the Great Furrier himself to come and repair their defense.

While we're tossing out rumors willy-nilly: Texas boards have Will Muschamp providing defensive tips for Mizzou against Oklahoma for the JV Bowl this weekend. If you see a wildly gesticulating man in Groucho glasses and top hat screaming "YOU AIN'T HURT" at Mizzou players, you'll know the fix is in.

Legal pads, beware. Thanks to our ROCK STAR PRESS BOX ACCESS we get whenever they decide to let commoners like us in the booth, we've seen Tony Barnhart's frenzied legal pad scribblings in person, and they are frenzied and epic. There's a legal pad, a cell phone, a pen, and Barnhart talking rapidly and drawing lots of names into little boxes graphed out on the paper in a dead-sprint to figure out who's in what bowl before anyone else does. His current edition of bowl projections has Florida in New Orleans, and has the Orange Bowl as Virginia Tech/BC versus Cincinnati. This means the Orange Bowl is going to suck, suck, suck on a level of suckosity as it has only dreamt of prior to this moment in the history of suck.