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CURIOUS INDEX, 10/27/08

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GET YOUR WAR ON. Georgia/Florida. The terrible people, doing the terrible dances, with the terrible jerseys, terrible domestic beers in large plastic bottles, and the terrible things in public places with the terrible music.

We couldn't be happier to see humanity at its non-murderous ugliest come back around. Viva la coke orgy!

Batten 'em down. We don't think there's necessarily a party line at ESPN--we really, really don't. It's not like they have little Frank Luntz talking points they vomit up, and dissent seems to be tolerated well enough, especially when they can split-screen said dissent and blast it at high volume. Yet, here's the Penn State Watch, a largely sentimental movement dismissive of Penn State's less-than-robust strength of schedule and lack of a championship game.

Mike Golic, this morning on Mike and Mike:

"Well, it looks like Penn State's a lock for the title game."

If it will make him look more arch than he already fancies himself, Mark May will come out swinging against this with top hat and cape on, presumably announcing this while tying a bewigged Lou Holtz in a maiden outfit to railroad tracks.

Punishments=tied to chair with Jim Delany in a werewolf mask holding a blowtorch. The Big Ten Commish and Kim Jong-Il of college football's influence sphere says the Big Ten replay officials were in error when they made some shit up about the pylon being part of the playing field, even when you touch it out of bounds. We were so looking forward to receivers running, picking up the pylon, and then catching passes cleanly in the front row of the endzone stands for TDs, if only to watch opposing fans play pass defense.

Sacks allowed: 3. What an irresponsible, gimmicky offense: three sacks allowed, a 12 yard plus average per catch, 5.5 yards per carry average on the ground, zero games lost to injury for the qb (who never, ever gets touched) and as many fourth down conversions as punts on the season. Texas Tech will never get anywhere with that foolishness.

Bill Stewart, Carlton fan. In his petite profile on SN Today, WVU head coach Bill Stewart lists the following as his favorite television shows:

What's on TV: CSI, The George Lopez Show and The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air

The idea of Bill Stewart guffawing at full volume at the Carlton dance is serving as a substitute for our eighth cup of coffee this morning.