It's getting dusty in here. Listen to a Clemson fan completely lose their shit at the 1:00 mark. It's not the Gundy-fun way, either, but that awful thing people do when their eyes begin to spout water, their breathing gets labored, and everyone in the room just wants to pull a ninja smoke bomb out and disappear. That thing called...what is it...yes, crying like a scalded infant.
Internet law, repeated: If it's in Wikipedia, it must be true, especially if it's about a storied football program and their coach after a loss to Toledo.
Toledo players, btw, honored the achievement of being the first MAC team to beat Michigan ever by getting arrested in a fight involving "about forty people." In case you're wondering at what point a "brawl" crosses over into being a "riot," we'll just establish a little rule right now: it's at approximately forty people.
He took a knee for a 67 yard TD. Sometimes another team is so inept you can't help but score, as was the case when Naples High beat pitiable Estero High 91-0 this past weekend. Do not blame Naples: Estero doesn't, as Naples only ran 31 plays the entire night and had backbenchers in for the second half.
"Hey," offered Estero defensive line coach Pat Hayes after the one-sided affair, "I didn't even know 91 was a multiple of seven."
Let's hope he doesn't teach math, and instead has the customary "History/Civics/sleeping with senior student" slot reserved for coaches at most high schools.
FIU: Un-awful! Bruce Feldman has an informative list of spectacular turnarounds and includes the unlikely but accurate pick of FIU, the consensus Donkey Prize winner for Worst Team in D-1, who currently has a three-game win streak going. All credit to Ned for showing the way to Badass Lane for the Panthers.
Brandon Tate, out. The Tarheels' explosive returner and wideout is gone for the season.
CURIOUS INDEX, 10/14/08