So, during the Yahoo(!) liveblog last night, a running gag of sorts crept in re: Willy Korn, the redshirt freshman QB whom many Clemson fans see as the answer to their stagnant mosquito pond of an offense. The game was excruciatingly, eye-gougingly awful for most of four quarters, and in the name of a) seeing something, anything interesting happen, and b) utter delirium, we got it into our heads that invoking the name of Willy Korn, over and over again, could somehow make him just appear on the field, like the Candyman. This rapidly spiraled out of control, of course, leading to updates like "First down Wake inside the Clemson 25. (Willy Korn)", and at the end of the night we shut our laptops, Kornless, dejected, and a little dumber for what we'd just watched.
Redshirt freshman Willy Korn will replace senior Cullen Harper as Clemson's starting quarterback, coach Tommy Bowden announced Friday. Korn, one of the highest-touted quarterback recruits out of South Carolina's Byrnes High two years ago, will be behind center next Saturday when Clemson (3-3) plays Georgia Tech.
The report adds that "Bowden also sighted Korn's mobility", which we're assuming is a typo, since Tommy Bowden, for all his qualities, is not a hunter. No, if anything, he's a hunting dog: sad-eyed, inbred, and born without opposable thumbs. What you really need to take away from the story, however, is WE HAVE POWERS. Empirical proof that The Secret is for bitches, comrades---invoke Willy Korn, and all things are possible. (Willy Korn)