Dead, again. With a 12-7 loss to Wake Forest jampacked with all the excitement you’ve come to expect from the Electric Sex Conference, the ACC, Tommy Bowden has reverted to familiar mid-season status as the dead guy with the headset. Ron Morris polishes off his “Tommy Bowden is totally dead this time and we mean it” piece, the same one you could have used four years running to look very prescient before the inevitable boot-and-rally Bowden curve.

We’re not even sure .500 gets him fired, though: at 12 years, he’s far more entrenched than you might think, and even with the bitch mentality at full blast Clemson’s at least consistent under Bowden. It all depends on the administrative approach: if the Clemson admins view the football program as a beast they like to keep under wraps and properly chained, they’ll keep him. If they think like, say, and Auburn or Florida, then he’s joining Tony Franklin in the Sad White Box of Totally Fired Club.

(Giving James Davis a meagre 12 carries will get you that Sad White Box of Office Refuse, too.)

Let’s set some records, people. Officials at Florida are all but explicitly dreading the possible fallout from a booze-amped night game at The Swamp involving both Florida fans and traveling LSU fans.

Loschiavo will be working at the police booking room during the LSU game to monitor student ejections. He’s concerned the late start could mean a long evening.

“The later the game, the more ejections there are going to be because there’s more time for people to drink,” he said.

Steps to reduce the number of ejections will include heightened vigilance and preventing the entry of anyone who looks obviously intoxicated. Officials had no comment on whether they were going to adopt Notre Dame’s policy of shooting the obviously intoxicated in the head at the gate, but we would implore them to remember that no matter how well armed they might be, these are LSU and Florida fans. Like Australian animals, they come barbed, fanged, and full of venom.

Sanchez: operational. Mark Sanchez is feeling good, and will likely start against Arizona State on Saturday. No dancing between now and then, Senor Sanchez. Rudy Carpenter, not so much.

“Captain Insano Shows No Mercy.” From the Fort-Wayne Journal-Gazette:

So I’m pass setting and their defensive tackle comes over and gets some pressure on me and he pokes me in the eyes. I’m sitting there, one of my eyes is all blurry, and I’m going ‘What the hell?’

“And he just goes, ‘Captain Insano shows no mercy.’ This is my first college game and so, I mean, quoting Waterboy. I’m just sitting there. I didn’t really have any response to that. I don’t know if you can top that one.”

The other odd stories of being taunted, jabbed, poked, and prodded in ways verbal and literal may be found here.

Hattiesburg: 2 hott for TV. Larry Fedora has banned Southern Miss players from two Hattiesburg nightclubs after starting linebacker Korey Williams had his jaw broken by a bottle at The Palace. Clue: if a nightclub is named “The Palace,” you are not a king, the place will not be palatial, and the only similarity between an actual palace and the club will be poor ventilation and bathrooms with a dungeon feel.