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EXCELLENCE IN MARKETING: HFCS BELT EDITION

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We like the way the Mike the Tiger looks hesitant and worried in this context.

"Hey, now. Just take it easy. You weren't actually thinking about eating me, were you? Like you can't even name a single thing besides sugar and flour that this is made of, right? There's no telling what kind of Korean factory runoff is actually in this yellow dye. You could whip it out to piss tomorrow, throw a cigarette in the shitter afterwards and--BOOM! There goes your house, you, and your dog, and you'll think, just seconds before you're disincorporated, "Hey, I wonder if whatever's in a Pop-tart turns human urine into a potent, flammable explosive?" The answer would be yes, but it's too late, and now your gluttony and love of packaged food has cost you everything, you complete and utter asshole.

Consider an apple? Yes, a delicious apple instead, or perhaps any other Pop Tart out of the box rather than me."

Photo HT: J-Money.