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TO THE PAIN: YOUR UNIVERSAL INJURY REPORT

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The injury report. It's feeling sprain-y in here.

Player, injury: Jake Locker, Washington. Broken right thumb. In case 0-4 by wide margins doesn't convince you that Washington is in an "abandon all hope" stage of existence, perhaps this will: Jake Locker, in addition to being out 6-8 weeks, might not even come back at the same position:

"It is possible," Willingham said. "I can't tell you where right now. But he is a tremendous athlete, and the ability to play five, six, seven positions exists."

Net loss: Realistically, nothing. This flaming corpsepile of a season just gets one more body thrown on it for Washington. It's a particularly tough nail in the coffin of the Willingham era.

Tray Blackmon, Auburn. Broken Wrist. Tommy Tuberville says Blackmon will likely play with a cast on his hand.

Net loss: None whatsover, since any reduction in grip and tackling will be made up for now that someone who borrows the nickname "Little Ball of Hate" will now have a club on the end of his arm. That's a push at worst for someone who once knocked the sex midget out of Kenny Irons.

Jahvid Best, Cal. Dislocated left elbow. Elbows aren't one of the joints you think about coming out of joint, but in football kinetic force loosens even the most stubborn of limb-junctures. Best will miss the game this week against Arizona State due to the injury suffered against Colorado State.

Net loss: Substantial for one game, but not disastrous, as Best in on pace to return against Arizona. You'll have to find your green-vomiting football player fetishes elsewhere until then.

Tyler Lorenzen, Connecticut. Broken right foot. Connecticut's starter yielded the spot to Zach Fraser after injuring the foot against Louisville this past Friday night. He'll be out for six to eight weeks depending on how long it takes for his traitorous foot to heal.

Net loss: None for Donald Brown, at least: the nation's leading rusher--and no, you did not know that--will eat up even more digits in play selection now that the starting qb is out.

Knowshon Moreno, Dannell Ellerbe, Tripp Chandler, Georgia. Bruised elbow, sprained knee, shoulder. Ellerbe and Moreno are "questionable" (will be out there) while Chandler is "doubtful" (doubtful.)

Net loss: Their opponent, the bye, will challenge them--especially with Athens' forever tempting traffic violations scene, where daredevil kids attempt to outdo each other in racking up meaningless tickets with multiple infractions. STOP THE MADNESS.

Florida: Jim Tartt, Emmanuel Moody, Ryan Stamper, Marcus Gilbert. Ankle X 4.
All ankles, all from the Ole Miss game.

Net loss: Bad, but it will be against Arkansas, so only slightly bad. Unless Arkansas, you know, throws a streak route against the Florida defense and then completely blows the mind of Major Wright.