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The duke of yaw-yaw now resides in College Station, which while not as high profile as Tuscaloosa still gives Joe Kines an opportunity to speak in public and make noises into a microphone using the bullhorn lodged permanently in his throat following a painful but entertaining coaching accident in the 1970s.

BLAHGERGAGHVING BRAKTAWK= "line up on his outside shoulder."

That's all we really want out of him anyway, and as usual, Kines delivers in a frank discussion of the Aggies' defense at this point in the season using "colorful metaphors," or as you know it better, "authentic frontier gibberish." Rarurr.

Kines said the defense was still in a transition phase and needs work. He used unique metaphors to describe where his unit is.

"We have two bricks and some mortar, and everyone wants to know what color the roof is," he said. "We need to take care of the basics and specific things before we focus on the big picture. The defense right now is like my wife's cooking. It's just a fact. You can't change it whether you like it or not."

ARE YOU SAYING YOU DON'T LIKE MY--yes, that's couch time, one night at least, but is totally worth it as a reminder that no matter how low the Aggies may fall, we always owe them a manly clasp of the elbow and Beastmaster hug for hiring Joe Kines, the father of the inside trout and a whole canon of bizarre vocabulary all his own. (That's translated from the raw audio, which may be listened to here.)