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HEART-KILLING CONSOLATION

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State fair deep-fried consolation for those whose teams lost this weekend: the Texas State Fair, where you can eat the death-row food of those who don't want to make it down the hall to Ol' Sparky, batter-fried bacon. There's also this quote, which may summarize all you may need to know and never understand about state fair cuisine:

"This is the Chocolate-covered Strawberry Waffle Ball. It's a plump fresh strawberry dipped in chocolate and then covered in sweet waffle batter and then deep-fried. Makes perfect sense."

No, no it doesn't, sir. Not in the least.