[a knock at the door.]
Attractive woman in her mid-thirties in negligee: "Who iiiiiiis it?"
Voice: "Ma'am, I'm here to fix your pipes."
Woman: And my pipes do need fixing.
Colt McCoy: I work sixty minutes at a time, ma'am. Let's see how long this...problem takes to fix.
Woman: I don't know...it seems my pipes have been neglected for so...long
Colt McCoy: I've got the tools for the job, ma'am.
Woman: A hammer with a football on the end?
Colt McCoy: Um...sure. Yes. A hammer with a football on the end.
Porn director: CUT!!! No improv!
Colt: Amateurs. YOU PEOPLE ARE AMATEURS! AMATEURS, I TELL YOU!
(HT: Ryan. No idea where this came from.)