“The little flickering part of his brain that was still sparking coherent thought through the fog of mind-numbing terror that filled Colon’s head was telling him that he was so far out of his depth that the fish had lights on their noses.”
In a world without hope.
Playing a game he can’t win.
For the brave, there’s only one choice.
Get. Wet.
[Kill Bill horn flash] DUH! DAHHH!!!
AQUAVENGER: Enter the Orb.
Get wet in select theaters starting 8/30/08.
(More photos of the Aggies throwing water balloons at each other at Aggie Yell. They all look like seven year olds. It’s awesome, actually.)
Blogtoberfest:
He’s sleeping. You shouldn’t be able to do this to a man with the name “Woodcock,” but no one told Ike Charlton that.
Triple-option glory. What a novel idea: Army joins the other two academies in breaking out the option, thus abandoning the headbutting of the pro-style wall. The more shifty undersized players flipping the ball rugby-style college football has scampering around, the happier we are.
If Bobby Pruett mounts a defense of the allegations he was involved in academic capers at Marshall that is as tenacious as his Florida defenses were in the early to mid 1990s, he’s completely and totally screwed.
That’s En-REE-kay. “Okay, EnRICKEY.” Enrique Davis will be part of a rotation of backs for Ole Miss, though from scrimmage performances Cordera Eason may have a lead on the others. You know what Houston Nutt likes about EnRICKey? He’s FAST.
Snitches, stitches. Jim Tressel is aware of your internets, and would like to request that you keep the tubes free from any and all specific details about what the Buckeyes do in practice. Meanwhile, Kansas’ new practice fields are as easily observed as the sight of Paul Hornung at a barstool. Mark Mangino, who has no history of being control-freaky, will surely have no issues with this. (It’s from August 9th, meaning Mangino thus far has had no problems with this, or is planning to erect thirty-foot walls surrounding the fields.
Violators will be subjected to a stern Meh-ing from Al Groh. UVA puts a pre-emptive kibosh on “FIRE GROH” signs by banning signs at football games altogether. But how, oh how will we get the creative acrostic signs that must be a part of any sports broadcast?
When we last left Nick Cave, he was recording a “stirring” cover of “What A Wonderful Word” with Shane McGowan, whose mouth is gruesome enough to be considered NSFW. Their rendition couldn’t have possibly been recorded before 3 A.M., as they’re both drunk enough that you can smell it through the tubes.
Cave and his coterie of ne’er-do-wells, the Bad Seeds, returned to the scene earlier this year with Dig, Lazarus, Dig!!!, a sweeping work of art that… wait, sorry, I thought this was Pitchfork for a second. It’s good.
Cave is 50 now, and he has approached his age with aplomb, growing out his receding hair and cultivating a dirtsweeper that would make even mid-80s Tom Selleck feel inadequate. Sure, he looks like a mix between half of Fred Armisen’s costumes on SNL and Lawrence from Office Space, but come on, he’s a 50-year-old rock star; who do you want him to look like, Sammy Hagar? Steven Tyler? Bono?
You can feel his Red Right Hand touching you right now. Don’t fight it.
After the jump, the single-take video for the title track from this year’s release. You can keep your CGI and needlessly expensive videos, pop music; Nick Cave prefers two screens, a treadmill, and a director who doesn’t care if he only gets like 70% of the words right.
Happy Moustache Wednesday, motherfuckers!
Our blogpoll is after the jump, and it’s the usual fine mess minus the fine. It was late, as well, and therefore not included in the current tally. We blame repeated viewings of the Big Ten Nutwork video for the delay. (more…)
The Big Ten Network’s new ads-where JoePa flies off the handle and nearly attacks the camera at the end-have been significantly improved by the staff at EDSBS.
GRR!!! Now applaud LSUFreek and pay him ten g’s just for breathing on the mike.
Teams: there are a lot of them. To help provide you with the most outstandingly mediocre coverage of college football, we have Chas from Pitt Sports Blather and the Fanhouse to tell you all one should need to know about the Wannstache, the destructive ball of yardage known as LeSean McCoy, and Pitt football. Enjoy.
One: what color is your season? In other words, please explain the metaphorical state of your program through the metaphor of color.
Blue or bluish-purple. As in everyone is turning that color from holding their breath about this season. Is this the season everyone thinks it could be? Will the injuries devastate the team once more? Just how crazy are we to put all this faith in the Wannstache?
Two: What historical nation and period do you resemble most right now?
It depends on whether I’m on my meds or not.
With Zoloft: United States, circa 1983. (more…)
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Now let’s keep this all in perspective we kid go crazy overboard bonkers. Nick Saban goes ahead and sends Alabama fans flying from their comfortable home in the deliriumsphere and into the Van Allen Belt of Pandeleirum by openly and publicly saying incoming freshman/pogo ninja Julio Jones has been one of the Tide’s best receivers in fall practice. We know and trust that Alabama fans will respond to this news in a measured and rational manner. Julio ain’t got these, though. If NCAA 09 has the math in line, Ben Tate is going to make Jones’ hops look like mere skips. I do box jumps on a bank! That’s not a glitch. That’s just part of the magic Tony Franklin and his enchanted wristbands can work on an offense. Knit one, pearl one. Tennessee gets Brandon Warren, most impressive TE transfer from Florida State, approved by the NCAA to play this year. HUZZAHS! and possum jerky all around. Circle of life tells you your Ace set will have to wait, because UT’s other tight end, Jeff Cottam, has back surgery and will be out 6-8 weeks. HUZZAHS! revoked, but keep possum jerky. Purdue receives no such balance in their news. Purdue loses starting running back Jaycen Taylor for the year with an ACL. Not that Purdue uses this “running back” you speak of, but still. Still more tales of human frailty. Micah Kia, one of three surviving members of the species known as UCLA linemen, broke his hand on a FG block attempt in practice and is “probable” for the opener against Tennessee. The following sentence will break your logic box. Give Rick Neuheisel points for candor: “We’re past ‘overly concerning,’ ” Neuheisel said. “On that Ouija board of concerning, we’re past, ‘overly.’ Yeah, this is concerning, no question about it.” The only solace for Bruins fans is that USC continues to rack up injuries, as well. Running back C.J. Gable suffered ankle and hip strains from a hit he took on a running drill, and is labeled as generically questionable. |
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Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
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