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Take this segue and freeze it in amber, as someday, when all of its kind have been killed by some kind of editorial asteroid, science may find it, extract its DNA, and create a new army of inconceivably strong awkward lead-in segues for columnists to admire, fear, and learn from:

USF defensive end George Selvie still has a dent from the time a Buick rolled off a car jack and hit him in the head during his infancy.

He has spent the past two seasons causing similar dents in opposing quarterbacks.

You're in awe. That's normal. Your heartrate is also probably Alp-ing and you're seeing spots right now, too. We accept no legal responsibility for this, either.

Selvie is God's Own Badass, though--this is a crucial point that must not be forgotten. In the Stoops-ish Cover 2 scheme the Bulls run, edge rush is crucial, and DEs are more often than not let loose on the qb like so many hungry hounds. When you have a defensive end who can wreck shop on a blocking scheme like Selvie, you can avoid making some of the potentially risky adjustments defensive coordinators have to make against the WVU spread and its zone read game. The 14.5 sacks is a glamour stat, but the 31.5 tackles for loss waxes even more impressive when you consider the deep holes USF put its opponents in on a regular basis.

George Selvie, seen here surprising Pat White by performing the "tackle" maneuver on him.

In the mortality indices offensive coordinators use to draw up insurance policies, he's "category 5 hurricane with chance of shrapnel showers."