EDSBS LIVE! is tonight, and now back with extra market whoring thanks to Brian Cook, who will enrage you with his use of numbers, facts, and invective, and our dusty, neglected spreadshirt store, still open and waiting for you to sort through three years of mostly poorly designed product.
This is not true of the classical hipster ringer tee, which will be tight across the beer gut but highlights those pipes like nothing else, sir. And that’s all the ladies are looking at-the pipes. And your penis. And your car.
Teams: there are a lot of them. We offer up CV3000’s estimates from Building the Dam, who would like to tell you about Oregon State, Sammie Stroughter, and on the art of not making beaver jokes every single day of your life as an Oregon State fan.
Alanis wasn’t bad, but who doesn’t prefer Godspell’s creepy clown Jesus, eh?
One: what color is your season? In other words, please explain the metaphorical state of your program through the metaphor of color:
We’re not so big on color metaphor. Our lack of bigness on color metaphor requires us to state what may be obvious to everyone: Orange.
That the most obvious color would also be the most metaphorically appropriate color is nothing short of…high irony. Even Alanis Morisette herself (need I remind you she played GOD in a movie?) would be proud that the Beavers have risen from the ashes and ascended the ranks of the Pac-10-winning the 3rd most games of any conference team in the current century. Consider the color of the rising sun that must have awoken the Rip Van Winkle of College Football a decade ago. Consider the color of cones, hard hats, and that weird, plastic fencing they use at construction sites as required to replace or remodel every athletic facility in Beaverland (well, the stadium is 2/3 replaced-I assure you it is possibly the nicest half of a stadium for 3 BCS conference geographic footprints away…did someone say there’s French laundry in the Loge Level? Ooh la la, tres orange.) and to make them as delicious of a dish as you might find in any other fine Factorie du Football. Consider the color of hope. Consider: orange you glad we didn’t say banana?
But, what about TODAY? What has orange done for them lately? (more…)
You know what Houston Nutt doesn’t like about Greg Hardy?
[spellbinding stare, thumbpoint]
He’s injured, and will be out 6-8 weeks.
To see why this matters, see Hardy’s double-time vivisection of Alabama last year after the jump where Hardy totalled thirteen total tackles, nine solos, five TFLs, three sacks, two forced fumbles and two QB hurries. Anti-giggity.
p.s. Jake Locker, however, is merely tweaked.
p.p.s. College Football Live guys falling all over themselves pulling Georgia as their preseason number one over Trinton Sturdivant’s injury. ESPNtainment: the manufacture of storylines will be constant and unceasing.
All five parts of J. Leman Saves the Worldare now available at BHGP. Watch, savor, and thank your lucky stars there’s men like like J Leman between you and the dark forces that plot at night to slaughter you in your bed.
The Feldblog has at least four things of necessary quality: Auburn’s o-line enters the season banged up, Charlie Weis won’t drink in public and he’s not alone among coaches, UCLA’s o-line attrition is plagueriffic, and Alex Mack, Cal center, personifies the colloquial definition of his name. Digest in total, and yes, we’ll take care of your creeping desire to hear “Return of the Mack” by Mark Morrison in return.
Florida allegedly has the easiest schedule in the SEC, which is a relative term, but we’ll take it after the horrorshow of recent slates for Florida.
The Red Raiders defense gets the mandatory “improved, improving, excited” trifecta fluff piece here.
House of Sparky digs out more fun news for Arizona State: their center has gone down with a concussion, which is really unfair since that’s Rudy’s job on the Sun Devils, not his.
Mike Barwis for President. Making this nation stronger and safer through weighted sprints and Olympic lifting.
After the jump…horror. We warned you: courtesy of tipmeister Dave, the nastiest concoction we’ve ever seen lies after the jump. If you dare, fair reader. If. You. Dare.
Legality gets in the way of so many good things: the debate rages on as to whether the A-11 offense is even legal or not, but we would like to state for the record that we do not care, because like file-sharing and the discharging of fireworks in public places, we endorse them because we like them, not because they’re “good” or “in the community interest.”
Gawk at the wacky below on the modified Emory and Henry in motion. Just for the single-wing enthusiasts out there: no, this will not make you gay just looking at it, even if it is from California.
Read more about it here. And on the gay thing? We were kidding: watching video of the A-11 will make you completely homosexual, single-wingers. We regret the error, and recommend Blake’s on 10th in Atlanta for all your needs.
We hate split offensive play-calling systems. Despise them. Loathe them. Think they should be thrown into the flames with our old high school yearbooks and that collarless button-down we misguidedly purchased in 1994. (”Dude, it’s like a dai-shiki you can tuck in. Exotic, but still formal.”)
This likely comes from watching the [REDACTED]/Fedora/Locksley monstrosity at Florida in the early ’00s, which even to the untrained eye had an incoherence to it that, at critical moments devolved into dada. Our third bubble-screen in a row? Really? When they just stopped the first two? A draw on third down? Daring! Even when you’re working with top-grade quality, the gangbang approach to in-game strategy seems ineffective at best, especially in terms of setting up defenses for plays later in the game.
Enter Penn State, where Jay Paterno* governs the pass game, Galen Hall** governs the run game, and the end product sort of sits there and cooks at a lukewarm temperature the health department suggests is unsafe for human consumption. (more…)
Trinton Sturdivant’s knee has a cold, or is snapped in half. Georgia, jealous of Arizona State losing their left tackle and getting attention for it, decides to follow suit. Trinton Sturdivant, UGA’s starting LT, has a knee injury of an undefined but likely fearsome degree, and may miss the entire season. Once fall practice is over, a very, very good team of starters may be assembled simply by taking every player who snapped an ACL this time through this season’s warmups.
Good to see he’s got a sense of humor about the whole thing. In today’s article about Rey Maualuga in USA Today, Rudy Carpenter sounds like he doesn’t take getting his lip split open in an overly personal manner.
“Yes, I remember Rey,” Arizona State senior quarterback Rudy Carpenter says, “because he gave me a bloody lip last year. I dropped back and (former USC defensive end) Lawrence Jackson got a hold of me. I kind of got away from him, but as soon as I turned around Rey was right there and hit me good right up under the chin.
“You can see it on YouTube.”
Oh, yes you can, Rudy.
Considering how many times Rudy Carpenter had his lip split last year, this is a healthy attitude to take going into 2008. Extra smartass qb points to Rudy for joking about taking that many foot-pounds of force directly to the head.
Kananga as Croom, and not just because he’s black. Michael over at Braves and Birds has your Bond villains as head coaches bit, and the blurb on Spurrier as Dr. No is particularly stinging:
Also, Dr. No meets his end in the book by being buried in bird dung, which is a fitting metaphor for a coaching legend ending his career at South Carolina.
But he says he’s still having fun! He’s dancing just as fast as he caaaaaaaan!!!
Travel is just over ten percent of Hawaii’s athletic budget, and the trip to Gainesville to play Florida for the season opener has forced them to trim costs and fly commercial legs on the way into the 352. Challenging gas prices expensive blah blah etc, but it’s good to see Stephan Marbury has taken up sportswriting for the Gainesville Sun:
The team will practice at Georgia Tech University in Atlanta to get acclimated to the six-hour time difference.
Ray-rah! Rah-Roo! All up out your seats for GEE-TEE-YOUUUUU!!!
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Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
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Alanis wasn’t bad, but who doesn’t prefer Godspell’s creepy clown Jesus, eh?
1994: Fashion mistakes were made.
