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CURIOUS INDEX, 7/25/2008

But they have a Bonefish Grill AND an Olive Garden! Tony Barnhart suggests that what with the second embarrassing legal incident busting up SEC Media Days in Alabama, it's time to move the meetings to Atlanta, therefore distancing the otherwise amiable proceedings from the Alabama football/legal psychosis apparatus. Atlanta would certainly be more convenient for us, so of course we endorse this idea completely, because it means taking Rich Brooks to the Clairmont Clermont Lounge. "That nude clogging is BULLSHIT!"

Brian's been at the Big Ten meetings watching his urge to kill rise and finding out that Rich Rodriguez has a group of student leaders called "the apostles," who have the right to speak at team meetings, attend a special barbecue at Coach DickRod's house, and who can only become apostles during a hooded Druidic stone pentagram sacrifice ritual involving a fatted calf, a curved blade, and lots of torches. That last part may be embellishment, but if Barwis is involved, there's got to be something more to it, like hang-cleaning the lead-plated skeleton of Geronimo over your head seven times or something.

Even still more supplemental SEC Media day coverage here, where we ape Faith No More's "We Care A Lot."

I have no comment on my alleged bonus for being named "Greg." Greg Schiano has no comment on his increasingly scrutinized contract, which from what we understand seems to give him bonuses for leaving, burning down the football offices of Rutgers' program, and badmouthing New Jersey in public. Schiano deflected all questions, but did say Springsteen "was overrated tripe."

Them's the odds. Oklahoma, USC and Florida all have good odds on undefeated, per people who stroke spreadsheets for fun. This and the preseason All-SEC Team having three--TRES QUE LOCO!--Florida DBs on the roster only confirms that at least half of football engages typing figures before engaging brain.