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What have we been doing today to excuse a relative absence from the blogosphere? This:

We're at Division One Sports in Franklin, Tennessee getting foot placed to ass by trainers who, in the name of journalistic science for the Sporting News, are doing unholy things to us in order to convey exactly how much pain it takes to get in college football shape. That is an EDSBS shirt, and we do have a rubber band between the legs, and yes, we gave up on dignity somewhere around age seven.

Fun fact: football programs want speed more than anything else! And ponies! Pretty, pretty ponies.

(P.S. Small victories: they told us we did better than Clay Travis on day one, so we've got that going for us.)