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App State ticket sales are up 62 percent from last season, and boy howdy, they should be. There's not that much to do in Boone besides get baked, ski, and drink beer. Um, revise: in shocking news, App State football tickets are up 62 percent from last year, an astonishing development given the plethora of awesome things to do in the Boone, NC area.

The biggest obstacle to the creation of an SEC network? It's just too damn valuable as it is. In other news: having a big penis has its drawbacks, being rich will only make you mostly happy, being good-looking means people may never take your ideas seriously, and your naturally toned and large pectoral muscles mean shirts never quite have that casual fit you like.

Dan McCarney, you sexy phoenix you. Former Iowa State head coach Dan McCarney is now the defensive line coach/assistant head coach at Florida, a rebirth of his coaching career beginning with the superlative work he did with USF's defensive line last season. If you're a Florida fan this is superb news, since last year the defensive line spent most passing downs playing patty-cake with laughing, bemused offensive linemen.

He does, however, drop an awkward phrase here.

The impact of Gator Nation is really high.

Literally, dude.

Pineapple Express! Florida football! No similarities!

Speaking of: Wisconsin beats Florida in the finals of the national Ultimate Frisbee competition. The Big Ten's crucial possession receiver advantage surely came into play here.

Ivan Maisel continues to earn batted eyelashes from us for his superb reportage during the Coaches Tour of the Middle East. The coaches took part in a round table, and Mark Richt wins the title of Mr. Humility for his blunt summary of his post-athletic career.

Richt: As far as getting into coaching: I tried to play pro ball, got cut by the Denver Broncos within a week's time. And then I tried to be a life insurance agent, and my boss got thrown in jail. So I quit that. I tried to sell memberships in a club, and the boss fired me for not being productive enough.

I started valeting cars. Got in real good shape, thought I could play ball again. Tried out for the Dolphins. Got cut real fast again.

And then I needed a job. I look in the newspaper and found a job as a bartender. Got fired about the second week of being a bartender. The guy who fired me, he told me to stick around at 2 a.m., he had a job for me. I started cleaning the bar after everybody left., from 2 a.m. to 10 a.m. After I got really desperate doing that, after a week or two, I thought, there's gotta be something I can do with my skill set.

I said, I know. I'll be a coach.

Remember: past failure is funny, especially when regarded from atop a pile of presently held money.