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CURIOUS INDEX, 5/22/08

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The USC band has no shame. This is a compliment.

USC's Pete Carroll, while not exactly wanting to limit Renaldo Lapuz's claim on being your brother, would like to point out that he, too, is your brother. Facebook update: Pete wishes all USC grads a big, warm congratulations on graduating.

What? Not jacked about this? Or pumped? Sad USC grads cry into their tassels at your merely enthusiastic kudos, Pete.

Boone's back! Made ya look! T. Boone Pickens continues to shower money on Oklahoma State like it was a prize stripper, giving $100 million more to the school he's already given somewhere in the area of $290 million dollars to--with 92% going to (gulp) athletics. Not this batch: the hundy will go towards making Oklahoma State doubly endowed, a sort of academic penis enlargement for the school performed in an exclusive Mexican surgical center with T. Boone's help.

Where's my humility? Aw hell, I'll just make the speech without it:

"Boone's back, and Boone's back with money," Pickens said before a crowd gathered for the announcement at OSU. "Be patient. I'm not through."

You can address yourself in the third person when you're rich enough to clone yourself three times over: Pickens is allegedly worth around $3 billion dollars.

State Senators, I present to you this gavel made of foreign foreskins. Tim Tebow addresses the Florida legislature.

Tebow told senators that "We are a nation in need of character and in need of doing the right thing."

Character? Bad? Good? Indifferent? We agree, Tim, but specify what type of character we need here. For our two cents, the Swindle senate campaign officially endorses this book as our guide to character. Who else had the bravery to beat up a cop who was beating up a prostitute? Peter O'Toole did.

UVA is doing the Iowa State thing and selling USC tickets as part of a bundled ACC package, not at all grubbing in the money at all, no. Just merely trying to satisfy USC fans' insatiable appetite for the Cavaliers/Terps rivalry.

Big Fulmer Cupdate coming today, as well as our new series Imaginary Mascots. LSUFreek will be flexing his muscles as the only human being who can properly illustrate our subconscious.