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CURIOUS INDEX, 5/8/08

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Brennan Carroll's video being used in negative recruiting? Shocking. Who can stop such skullduggery in the increasingly contested LA recruiting wars between Pete Carroll and COACH Rick Neuheisel? Whoever harnesses the power of homeless James Bond--that's our guess.

Joe Hamilton, former Georgia Tech qb and coach this season for the Jackets, resigns following his arrest for hit-and-run and DUI. The article from the AP points out that Hamilton did excel even in his arrest, failing not one but "a series" of sobriety tests. Champions do what champions do: excel, even in their darkest moments.

You want to live in Mike Leach's world and you must admit it. Mark Schlabach gives you your offseason wacky profile of Leach, this time with new information about Leach's fondness for expertly-wrought imitation art:

After meeting Horn at his second-hand store, Leach persuaded the artist to paint a portrait of college football's most unique coach. Last month, more than two years after the initial meeting, Horn showed up at a Texas Tech practice, carrying a portrait of Leach wearing a large straw hat one might wear in the French countryside. The painting is now the centerpiece of the Red Raiders' war room.

"I was hoping he'd cut my ear off," Leach said, referring to a later self-portrait of van Gogh that included the painter's bandaged left ear.

We're unsure whether Leach means "cut my ear off (in the painting)" or "(really with a sword) cut my ear off." The fun part with Leach is that it could be both.

Living to win, Thursday edition. Alabama State gets accused of 668 rules violations. Wait, wait: that doesn't look right. Editing...

Alabama gets accused of HOLY FUCKING SHIT 668 MOTHERFUCKING RULES VIOLATIONS.

That looks much better. Somewhere, Barry Switzer's dong just swelled with excitement. If you just became sickened by this thought, you're normal, and good for you. if you just became aroused by this sentence, you're either an Oklahoma fan or you like the rough, dangerous bad-Daddy type, and we can't stop you from doing that or from thinking Gene Hackman is dreamy, you sick bastard, you.

Nick Saban is surprisingly horn-free. Nick Saban is, shockingly, not an actual demon in person. Check out Troy Johnson's lead, though, and nod along with us:

I shook hands with Alabama football coach Nick Saban on Monday and am happy to report that his firm grip was not applied by a tentacle, a talon or a cloven hoof.

Yep, five fingers per hand. Just like the rest of us.

Tentacles in the lead? We like the cut of your jib, sir. You have your choice of Tussin cocktail or Sailor Jerry (the j is silent) shots on us. (Sailor Jerry: the downsized Captain Morgan, a recession rum for us all!)