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ROLLERSKATAGATORPIG LIVES

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Thank you, Jim Delany. No one wanted a playoff anyway:

We're not convinced a pure playoff is the solution, but here's what's already happened with the BCS. First, we started off with a pig. Then, the pig was given rollerskates. Then, the rollerskate-pig received a transplant of an alligator's snout. Once the pig's head proved to be too heavy with the alligator's snout, a counterweight was added at the tail in the form of sack of buckshot stapled to its tail.

At this point, the plus one would be sewing another head onto the allipigrollerskatebuckshot beast. But at this point, why not ask Dr. Frankenbowl to break out the staple gun and make it happen? We're already talking about relative degrees of absurdity. The real problem (Carville) is that the other pig (still) is (hates) the Rose Bowl, and that head's not coming off without some unbelievable gore.