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CURIOUS INDEX, 4/24/08

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I can tell you know how hard this life can be. But you keep on smiling for me.

Cee-lo, you are a beautiful fat little man.

West Virginia is concerned about all of those men crowding their box.

"A quarterback shouldn't run the ball 20 times a game," Stewart said. "Eventually, it catches you. … Now, if we can get the ball a couple of more places, make them defend the entire field, maybe we won't have those safeties coming down [toward the line]. Maybe we won't have people loading the box quite as much."

Bill Stewart, please call Urban Meyer. Kthx, Orson. The WVU offense will look a bit more like the Wake Forest offense, but with nutsoid talent working it. Oh, and Pat White won't be in a leaked nude photograph, either, as much as some of us might like it.

Nick Saban is officially a tool, per a minor league promo that was most definitely not concocted by an Auburn grad. Nope. Completely unbiased promotion going on here. If you believe in synchronicity, and we do, there's blood on your hands today, minor league baseball promoter asshole. What's "Roll Tide?" in Malayalam, the world's only language whose name is a palindrome?

Lloyd Carr is down with the Dalai Lama clique. Carr attended a speech by the Dalai Lama, and has now ensured that if he ever were to visit China, he would be immediately arrested as a "splittist" and forced to work shirtless in a tannery until he died from chemical exposure.

"A website" has the Missouri Tigers in first place in something called the Fulmer Cup. A deplorable one, we're sure.

Reminder: Mike Leach rules. Leach, on why he's not giving up playcalling duties like Ralph Friedgen, Steve Spurrier, and Charlie Weis:

“Because I’m younger than those guys,” he said. ” … I got into coaching to coach. Otherwise, you’re just a handshaker.”