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Not USC: no, this would be the Trojans of Troy University, whose kicker Sam Glusman demonstrated his powerful leg by kicking in a door and breaking into a house in Troy, Alabama. Glusman picked up a first-degree burglary charge, resisting arrest (STOP RESISTING!) and public intoxication. On looking at that, public intoxication may not the largest score in five point total awarded to Troy for the incident, but its importance as a key variable in this situation probably can't be overstated. (Three for felony burglary, one each for the misdemeanors.)

In Oxford this past weekend, Allen Walker attempted to drive a car while drunk. He claimed it was an artistic triumph, but local art critics/law enforcement officials cited his poor composition, lack of control of the piece, and it being totally and completely illegal to do that shit. Three points for Ole Miss in the Fulmer Cup, showing Houston Nutt already has them competing all over the place.

And at last, the Sunshine State makes its big debut in the Copa with the arrest of Florida State's Preston Parker on what appears to be the Hip Hop Lifestyle Package deal: weed and guns. Four points for the moment for Florida State, who shows a spark of NFL talent on their roster by getting an NFL style charge on their record for '08.

FSU beats Florida to the "first weed-related arrest for a Florida school" award. Congrats.