CURIOUS INDEX, 4/22/08

Plus, we're decimated by injury. At least twenty dollars (in singles) of bonus cash to the person who managed to explain to Larry Munson exactly what Squidbillies is, and what he was going to be saying to whom in the episode.

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But yes, that's Larry Munson as the voice of God. (HT: Thad.)

There's only two games between the PAC-10 and SEC this season: Georgia at Arizona State, and Tennessee at UCLA. The UCLA game could be an atrocity, but early on it's not mad to expect the game in Tempe to be a real contest especially given Georgia's traditionally slow starts and this whole new "going on the road thing" they're trying out in the SEC. Fortunately, as a Florida fan "going on the road" means flying all the way to goddamn Fayetteville, so we don't have to worry about these kind of odysseys.

California, Florida, and Texas. Demography rules your football, college fan, whether you like it or not, meaning grumpy Big Ten fans may shake angry fists not just at fate, but at the economy, weather, and the deity of their choice when it comes to protesting the gradual move toward football becoming more of a Sun Belt sport than a Midwestern one. The Big Three represent 26% of the U.S. population, but produce 34% of the talent drafted in the NFL, according to a report by USA Today. (It's all that running from strip mall to strip mall that does it.)

Chewbacca! BANG. A great reason to fire blindly into a crowd of people: because one of them may, or may not have, called the woman you were with "Chewbacca." The extremely logical and well-thought out reason for allegedly firing into a group of Cal football players back in 2005 is just part of what sounds like a colossally stupid series of events, excerpted below, that resulted in the death of a young woman shot in the chest:

"I really don't remember anyone arguing I just remember someone saying no one called you bitches and hoes and then it was over," Gray said. "I don't remember no arguing in faces, it was never hostile."

Others have testified that an argument began after Gray called one of the women a Chewbacca, the name of a large hairy fictional character from the Star Wars trilogy.

Gray said he did not remember calling anyone names although he did remember that his friends told him he called a woman a Chewbacca...

...In doing so, Crenshaw said he heard Willis-Starbuck call someone on her cell phone and demand that the person bring a gun to the feud.

"When I was standing there, she said, `You need to hurry up and come over here with your pistol,'" Crenshaw said referring to Willis-Starbuck's cell phone conversation. "It was surreal; I looked at her and I thought maybe she was just talking to her phone like that so others could hear her.

After hearing Willis-Starbuck on the phone, Crenshaw said he thought the argument was over because Gray and his friend got into their car to leave.

But as they were driving away, Crenshaw said, two of the women began to yell at Gray, saying he was a scrub.

All perfectly logical. In fact, we attempted to shoot a man for calling us a "Lando wannabe" last night, mostly because it hurt so much BECAUSE IT'S TRUE. We missed and killed a passerby. We regret the error.

Lloyd Carr's health is still an issue, even after he's gone. Carr and Michigan both looked healthy enough in their bowl game, actually. More public shaming of the Florida secondary, as seen below in action.

(No, this will keep up until well into the season, and they show they can defend a simple fucking post route.)