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This knife? Um, it's for the bread. Penn State wide receiver Chris Bell pulled an 8-inch knife on a teammate in the cafeteria at Penn State yesterday, and it was just as much fun as you'd imagine any other event involving a pulled knife in a public place.

Zach Slaybaugh (senior-psychology) said he was working at the Pollock Commons desk when a person he referred to as a Penn State football player ran down from the team's dining room to the desk and said, "We got a guy with a knife who won't calm down."

You know what that means: daaaaaaaaaaance par-tay!

Or a dismissal from the team and charges of terroristic threats, simple assault, recklessly endangering another person, disorderly conduct and harassment. Or both, man. We're not gonna box you in like that, and this will get its own Fulmer Cup entry in a bit. But Christ with a knife, this is a phenomenal story, and not good for the whole question of whether Paterno's really in charge or not. (Fair? No. Will it make him look doddering and surrounded by wild boys with knives? Yes, kind of like a Mugabe on Route 322.)

Run Up The Score summarizes nicely:

Of course, that “Option #1? scenario implied that Bell would have pulled his head from his ass at any point in the next 12-18 months. Not only did he love running lazy or incorrect (sometimes both!) routes, he truly excelled in being an asshole in all facets of life.

Well put. Read the rest here.

PUrrrrrrr. That deep rumbling sound you hear is the deep, soulful satisfaction one can only get when you say the words "we will be running the option" to a Nebraska fan. Because according to Bo Pelini, "the option will be part of the offense," though to what extent is unclear. Whatever: it's rubbin' time in Nebraska. Work is cancelled, and the lovin' shall commence immediately with a forecast of fierce penetration and excellent pitching all over the field.

Neither Cock is obviously preferable. QBs Chris Smelley and Tommy Beecher would probably be rotating, according to Steve Spurrier after the Gamecocks' second scrimmage of the year, thus proving that Steve Spurrier is still attempting to work the magic of a trend of one from a single game in 1997. The trend of one! Get on the bandwagon now, hipsters.

Would I talk to Phil? Let me call Phil and ask him what I should say. At Oregon, Phil Knight runs this shit, and you know it, AD Pat Kilkenny. Points for honesty on television mean he at least has a relatively low bullshit content, and that is to be commended, even if he is tied up eight ways to Sunday with the board of trustees, boosters, and with Knight himself.