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JOE PATERNO IS READY FOR THE SINGULARITY

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Joe Paterno, ah, that funny old guy! Just joshing on about how he could coach another 10 years, ho-ho! What drollity!

"I don't even care if I get a contract. I'll be very frank with you," the 81-year-old Paterno said Saturday in his first meeting with reporters in three months. "I think the university will do what they think is right, whenever the time comes. Right now, I'm very comfortable."

"What do I need an extension for?" he asked before joking that he could coach "just another 10 years."

Blind peasant, you don't even see what's coming your way, do you? Paterno will survive to see the singularity on his Mediterranean diet, lack of exposure to radiation from portable electronic devices, and healthy insistence on not using horseless carriages to get everywhere. Then, just as Ray Kurzweil predicts will happen, he'll have all of his organs replaced and coach Penn State football for hundred of years barring severe catastrophic bodily injury or murder.


That Little Rascal: Paterno to coach until molten lead rains from the sky.

Somewhere in that house are bags and bags of blue and white Nittany vitamins. We'd bet our head in a jar on it.