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From the Auburner comes a story of horror so overblown and provincial, it must be about the Auburn/Alabama rivalry. Overblown and provincial, however, is just our speed, so here you go:

The inclusion of the "Angels With Filthy Souls" line is a nice touch, as is the Golden Flake ad. Right now, Nick Saban is doing dips shirtless in a dark prison cell he calls home while watching this video to prepare for 2008.