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DOOLEY TO BECOME KING OF RUSTON, LA

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Heredity is a widely misunderstood thing. For example, does one not think that taking the Louisiana Tech to a 5-7 record would get one the job of athletic director, too--unless you were young, radiating rays of coaching raygun hotness, and your last name happened to be Dooley.

And if you're the son of a guy named Dooley who won a lot of games as a head coach, then golly, surely you can handle the dual jobs of both head football coach--a grinding, 20 hour a day gig even at relatively out-of-the-way La. Tech--and the gladhanding diplomacy of being athletic director, too. Even if you're only around thirty nine years old.

This will all end well. Hey, we need an appendectomy. If you can't find someone, that's cool--just find someone who has a parent who's a doctor. They'll do just fine.


Hey, she plays a doctor. Get her.

What the hell is La Tech doing? Besides asking for burnout in a promising young coach? That's why they're split into two jobs in the first place.