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The soundtrack for this post, and oh you'll find out why:

Miami Northwestern High sent 283 players to the Miami Hurricanes this year. (Perhaps that number is high, but we'll stand by it, dammit. You have to take a stand.) Of those, four seemed to be a package deal not only in football, but

DT Marcus Forston is happy to be with his fellow Miami Northwestern freshmen teammates Sean Spence, Jacory Harris and Aldarius Johnson at UM.

He says the four of them are close.

Very close.

"Everyone says we're like quadruplets," Forston said. "Every day everybody sees us together. We take a shower together, go to class together, do everything together. We wait for the shower to clear out, go in there and talk. We go to the bathroom together, everything. So that's the bond we need this year."

The team that shits together, stays together--as long as they washed those hands first.

It's just astonishing, really. We've been married for a long, long time, and even now catbox time is strictly one cat at a time. Perhaps a change in diet is in order, or the purchase of a love toilet: grumpies that require the assistance of not one, but three other men aren't mere medical issues: they're matters of national security. It's the South Florida diet, so Cuban triple-stack carbs may be to blame, since it's one of the few places where you'll be given rice, plaintains, and bread in a single meal.

(HT: The Great Barstoolio.)