The Emperor thanks you for your patronage, your patience, and your loyalty. All these years, since the grand experiment began, we have devoted ourselves to one idea and one idea alone: The Great Experiment. Its concept took root from the fertile soil of the ancients, a wellspring of ideas that flows through us today. Our idea was theirs: that athletes and academics could not only co-exist, but thrive under the guiding hand of a all-knowing, beneficent leader. Separate, our weakness makes us snap like twigs; but bonded together as one, we can combined cut through the hardest of times like a great axe.
So we celebrate outlasting another failed ideology today, Penn Staters. Another dictator gone while our beloved Emperor before us in his august robes, healthy and ready to face another season, another year, bold, fierce and just as he was the day he assumed power! Tyrants fade like Ozymandias, while our brave emperor dons the laurel yet again.
Witness his stamina!
Morituri te salutamus, JoePa! And suck it, Castro! You picked the wrong sport from the start, comrade!