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Resisting arrest with zest: Ole Miss.

DA REBBAH DONE--wait, wait. We can't do the Orgeron voice when it comes to Ole Miss stories anymore, can we? He's moved on to the Saints to coach their defensive line, meaning we fully expect to see Ed himself crashing double teams when he suits up in an attempt to psych his troops up next season. Watching a man blow both ACLs at once will never have been as festive, ami!

Instead, we're left with the sadness of an Ole Miss team coached by the merely insane Houston Nutt. They make their debut in the Fulmer Cup with the arrest of safety Jamarca Sanford, who refused to leave the parking lot of Night Town, a billiards club, the kind we hate because it's loaded with douchebags who, if you come within ten feet of them, give you the death glare and ask you "hey hey HEY! Little room at the table, here!" (See: Twain's, Decatur, GA, for another of these.)

Apologies, Minnesota Shats--we'll just be over here moving the cue ball with our minds, causing you to miss shots by fractions of an inch. Perhaps Jamarca hates these places, too, and just wanted to fight--or perhaps he was mesmerized by the menu offerings at Night Town. Erotic chicken might make us feisty enough to get arrested, too.

Fried Mushrooms - basket of 'shrooms served with ranch dressing. These ain't the mushrooms that'll get you to that Rocky Mountain high... But they'll get you damn close. $4.50

Cheese Sticks - mozzarella cheese sticks served with marinara. Hung like your boyfriend but tastes twice as good. $5.00

Potato Skins - Potatoes, taken out back and stuffed to the brim by the capable hands of young Cuban ladies... topped with melted cheese and bacon bits, served with sour cream. $4.50

Chicken Tender Basket - hot, sexy chicken tenders and fresh-cut french fries served with your favorite spread of mouth-watering sauces. "NightTown... the most erotic chicken in Oxford."

They watch 'em on 8mm? Now we totally want to hang with the owners of Night Town. It's a rare breed of gentleman that breaks out the double-reel for his porno, sir.

Oh, and two points for Ole Miss in the Fulmer Cup.

Erotic chicken cant u see, thoughts of pretty u and me.