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Smear. Yum. Rich Rodriguez says he's the victim of a smear campaign. This happens when there's $4 million dollars and a buyout clause in contention and everyone starts to play with the good knives. One tiny question that perhaps someone could answer for us: didn't anyone make a provision for the buyout clause causing all the furor, or even think about it? Or was the intent for Rodriguez to wig out on the clause all along, claiming that WVU hadn't lived up to their promises all along and thus violating their contract with him? Lawyaz, in the comments plz.

(In case you missed it on Wednesday, Brian had an excellent post as to why this paperwork tiff is complete crap. It's got charts and everything.)

Your January Surprise: you're Virginia, and your starting qb isn't enrolled in classes yet! Surprise! (Throws streamers, buzzes noisemakers.) Jameel Sewell and three other UVA football players do not appear on the rolls at UVA. Considering the school's sterling academic reputation, Deion Rules are unlikely here, and you can probably count them as lost, transferring, or otherwise indisposed for the 2008 season: classes began on the 16th in Charlottesville.

College football causes crime. And we're not just talking about weed and Florida football:

Our results suggest that the host community registers sharp increases in assaults, vandalism, arrests for disorderly conduct, and arrests for alcohol-related offenses on game days. Upsets are associated with the largest increases in the number of expected offenses. These estimates are discussed in the context of psychological theories of fan aggression.

Again, economists working in the Duh Studies Department for you, the people. We could have told you that, given the eight convenience store workers we killed in the last two consecutive losses to Auburn. If you see a Tiger kicker walking onto the field in 2008 in Auburn, just close all stores in the area as prophylaxis.

Manginopolis wins the Bear Bryant Award in coaching. He totally frickin' blew your mind by coaching Kansas to a 12-1 record this year. Have a special burger on us, brah.

The cool thing is that teeny little Asian women ATE THE WHOLE THING.

Please. If life wants to be cool to all of us, then this will happen in what SMQ is calling "the Orgeron option."