Today's rundown of points and neglectful accounting for the Fulmer Cup.
Missouri earns points the red-blooded American way: drugs. Recreational chemist and Missouri reserve defensive end John Stull has been kicked off the team following last Thursday's arrest for possession. Police found a diversified portfolio with Stull upon his 1 a.m. arrest.
The police report indicated police found a bag reportedly containing marijuana, assorted pills and cocaine while exercising a search warrant at Stulls residence. Boone Country Court records indicated Stull was charged later Thursday with a Class C felony.
Stull has had two other brushes with the law prior to this arrest, so this probably surprises few in the Missouri camp. For a class C drug possession felony, we'll give Missouri three points for the cocaine/pills combo, a drug combo so advanced for a college kid it is only usually found on gay trustafarian club kids who pass out in expensive cars on their way home from the orgy.
Louisville gets feisty. Showing more fight in a single night that Louisville's defense did all last year, Louisville Cardinal running back Blayne Donnell broke a guy's jaw at a party December 15th. Now...if this is just surfacing, do we award points despite the fact that it occurred during the bowl lull last season? It's a complicated question, but fortunately we won't have to deal with anything like this for a...
Fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Okay, so Penn State has some points in the making on old but newly refiled charges, too. What the hell are we supposed to to with these, too? If you haven't seen them before and they're refiled, do they count for this season, too?
We turn it over to the panel to discuss. The Missouri points are incontrovertible, but Louisville and Penn State await your judgment.