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O-O! H-I! HT: Scott.

Plus one, minus two. In the wake of a self-esteem promoting finish to the college football season--you know, where everyone's number one, and we all win and no one's feelings are hurt--Pete Thamel's piece reiterates what you already know, which is that a plus-one is as close as you can get the herd of cats to come, and even then you've got the mysterious powers of the Rose Bowl keeping the Big Ten and the Pac-10 in thrall. What the hell do they have? The Philosopher's Stone? Hitler's brain in a jar, pulling the strings behind the scenes? The Ark of the Covenant, where they invite Mike Slive, John Swofford, and Bernie Machen into a room before pulling the lid and melting off their faces and their will to have a proper championship game?

Heah's Missah Cahh-ville staying on message about the BCS. He hates the Rose Bowl. He hates the Rose Bowl. He hates the Rose Bowl.

Carville, in case you did not know is an LSU grad and rabid Tiger fan. (Note: things we never hope to run into ever for any reason: a rabid Tiger.) Carville is also dangerously sexy, so if you just watched this and drove the passenger jet into the ground because you were so aroused, we're deeply sorry. We'd apologize, but you're dead now, and probably shouldn't have been checking a blog while piloting a jet anyway.

Ratings are down across the board for the BCS and for college football bowls in general. The lone exception is the Capital One Bowl. The strong national attention paid to Florida being set on fire only reinforces the theory that America loves to watch Florida disasters, as also evidenced by strong ratings for disasters like Hurricane Andrew, the 2000 elections, and Florida Gators' football ratings from 2002-2004.

Tom Lemming, ever the starlet to Notre Dame's cigar-chomping producer. According to Tom Lemming, Notre Dame! (slurp) has the number one (slurp) recruiting class in the (slurp) country! According to Notre Dame officials, Lemming was young, he was innocent, and he was the best piece of ass they've ever had. And they've had 'em all over the world!