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LE GOOD NEWS ABOUT LE BOWL DU ORANGE

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Tonight's Orange Bowl does bring with it good news: Robot Jebus loves you! He watches and sees all you do, and prevents you from treading into the dreaded Robot Hell-worthy behavior.

Also, Thom Brennaman won't be calling the game with Charles Davis. Awake (novel idea) announcers Barry Alvarez, Daryl Johnston, and Kenny Albert will be calling the game from Miami. This spares you the monotone eroticism of Brennaman, but does mean you'll have to look at Barry Alvarez's ties, which can blind from a distance of three miles.


Barry Alvarez addresses the United Nations with his tie.