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JAM! RETRO RODRIGUEZ FROM GLENVILLE STATE

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We all get our start somewhere, and Rich Rodriguez's start came at Glenville State, a school never described without the words "tiny" prefacing it: an enrollment of 1392, tucked away in equally tiny Glenville, West Virginia, and the wellspring of the Rodriguez spread offense that has spread across this great nation of ours like so many "McRib is coming!" promo posters.

Which brings up the point: that Rodriguez spent six years at Glenville State. Six years at a tiny school in a tiny place with zero glory and a videographer that set things to Michael Jackson's "Jam." (Considering half of all college football highlight vids are set to "Boom!", we really can't judge too harshly.) He then spent another seven at West Virginia, so any and all accusations of carpetbaggery should be shat out the window with disdain.

He may have executed the breakup in a discombobulated manner, but he certainly stayed long enough to make it respectable. Coaching-wise, he's a responsible serial monogamist who's weak on the breakup, which most of us are. Hell we cried when we changed cell-phone providers. (Damn you, Verizon, and your wicked, alluring ways. You had to bring the tears with you, didn't you? )