December 17, 2025

TERRY BOWDEN IS COMING AND YOU KNOW YOU LIKE IT

The rumor du jour-and the only food group this time of year is rumor, so double servings all around-is that Terry Bowden is pleading himself into contention for the West Virginia head coaching job. Or he’s making enough noise to be considered. Or he’s from West Virginia, doesn’t currently have a coaching job, once did in fact have a coaching job, and wants to get back into coaching, so using some vocational trigonometry BLAMMO!!! He must be in the running for the West Virginia job.

Anyone wanting to hire him should remember the curious case of Bowden’s departure at Auburn: Bowden fled the Opelika/Auburn metro area six games into the 1998 season after a 1-5 start and a near uprising by Auburn fans and boosters. It was not one of those quick little departures with a tasteful press conference and lots of jovial back-slapping, either: Bowden pulled the original midnight run move, leaving town literally overnight and leaving Bill Oliver to grit out the rest of the season. Bowden was there one minute….and then he wasn’t.


Go down, sun! Dammit, go down! I gotta pack!

We know Auburn’s boosters have roving packs of robotic dogs ready to kill at the drop of their master’s cap, but that’s pushing the logical fear envelope for a coach in trouble. The real shame in Bowden getting another job is that Yahoo would lose one of their more entertaining writers-Bowden’s column is shockingly good, and we’re not just grading on the former coaches’ scale, either; it’s legitimately good and often so.



Filed under: Alabama man! he can drink he can bowl he can drink some, Big East Conference, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, College football, Southeastern Conference, coaching coup  by Orson Swindle

NICK SABAN’S AGENT CONTACTED WEST VIRGINIA?

No fucking way: West By God Virginia is suggesting that WVSports.com (Rivals’ WVU board) is reporting that Nick Saban’s agent contacted West Virginia about the opening left by Rich Rodriguez’s departure.

4 million dollars buys you dick these days.

EDIT/UPDATE/ETC. WBGV reported this first, no WVSports, who confirmed the story, most likely from the same source. As with any of these stories, be ever skeptical, but with Petrino’s rain of back-daggers on Tuesday, perhaps Nick Saban and agent felt the need to flex their skills just to show the new kid in town who the real tiger-style master is.



Filed under: Alabama man! he can drink he can bowl he can drink some, Big East Conference, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, College football, Southeastern Conference, alas, coaches shilling, coaching coup  by Orson Swindle

A BAR SCENE, PART TWO

See this if you want to make any sense out of what follows.

New Michigan Athletics Consultant: The Bishop Don Magic Juan

Rich Rodriguez sips at his drink and looks around the bar.

Bartender: Another, ma’am?

RR: Yeah, make it another Jack and Coke.

Bartender: If it’s on his tab, it’s gotta be well brand. Sorry, but that’s what he said.

West Virginia’s in the corner playing darts and yelling out WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! for no particular reason, and not paying attention to RR, who’s wearing a low cut top and tight blue jeans.

RR: It’s like he doesn’t even love me sometimes.

Bartender: What?

RR: Well’s fine, man. Just pour it.

Bill Martin, Michigan Athletic director, walks into the bar. He is wearing his customary captain’s hat, but has eschewed his old suit and tie for a frilly blue shirt, skin-tight yellow pants, and a full-length chinchilla coat that extends to the floor. At his side is a woman dressed in a matching chinchilla coat, hot pants, and a Foxy Brown top.

Bartender: What the fuck is that?

The bar stops, and the sound of a needle being dragged across a record is audible in the background

Bill Martin: What is up, you…um…

Martin: You trick bitches and skank duffel bag boys. Bow…(swallows)…to a pimp!

The bar goes silent. Bouncers flex quietly and crack their knuckles.

Mary Sue Coleman, Michigan President, leans into Martin’s ear and whispers.

MSC: sotto voce Try to sound less mincing when you say that. Use the pimp juice, Bill!

Martin: Right-o. BOW….TO A PIMP!!!

He fumbles in his pockets and pulls out fistfuls of money.

MSC: Bill, you have to throw it in the air. It’s called “making it rain.” (more…)



Filed under: Big 10 Conference, Big East Conference, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, College football, playa from the himalaya, playa gotta have hats  by Orson Swindle

SWINDLE INDUSTRIES UPDATE

Things are happening. Fascinating, exciting, and often poorly organized things, but nevertheless, it’s rollin’ baby.

1. We’re full-time at the Sporting News now, and will be contributing two college football-related pieces or so a week over there in addition to appearing on Chris Mottram’s The Sporting Blog on a daily basis. We are also busy convincing them to send us to China on the cheap, and that the Chinese police will take bribes to let you into exclusive Olympic athletic events without jailing you at least 56% of the time you attempt it.

2. This will not impact EDSBS, which remains independent and Swindle-owned. In fact, the SN gig allows us to write full-time, meaning the pace of posting, so often dented by work and other nonsense, should remain constant at the worst. It will also not impact our fondness for profanity, so shove that notion sideways up your fucking ass, shit-tard.

3. The Swindle Industries family (dysfunctional and haphazard, just like yours) welcomes its first new member to the family: thirtyfiveseconds.com, our stab at a college basketball blog. Irishoutsider and Unsilent Majority will be bringing you only the finest of college basketball hearsay and analysis, along with lots of pictures of basketball players’ hair and mockery thereof. Other writers will make appearances, ourselves included, as you would have to be blind, deaf, and dumb to not think March Madness wasn’t worth paying attention to, and we only fit two-thirds of that bill.

4. Do you have a male relative you can’t talk to, relate to, or even sit in the same room with for longer than three minutes? Do you have to purchase a gift for them this Christmas? Of course you do, and of course you don’t know what to get them…until now.

Available at Amazon or out of the back of our trunk. We’ll be at Buddy’s at North Ave. and N. Highland selling them along with some fine electronic merchandise we found on the side of the road. Ah, the bounty of the concrete seas, all yours for rock-bottom prices!



Filed under: Blog Buddies, College football, excellence is the product of managerial synergies flowi, media whoring  by Orson Swindle

CURIOUS INDEX, 12/17/07

Shoot the messenger. Rich Rodriguez told his players of his resignation before he told school officials-benefit of doubt given, as coach/player/bond/teary-manful things dictate that you might want to do this before talking to the checkwriting types who manage the unemotional, accounting side of the sport. Getting a grad assistant to hand in your letter of resignation? Personal foul, 15 yards, Coach DickRod.

Sources confirmed that finally, later in the day, when Mountaineer athletic director Ed Pastilong went to meet with the assistant coaches, a graduate assistant, Mike Parrish, walked up to the AD. And presented him with Rodriguez’s short letter of resignation.

A grad assistant.

Rodriguez also told Robb Report item and luxury recruit extreme Terelle Pryor of his departure before he told officials.

If you wonder why someone might do that, please gawk at the video below of Terelle Pryor, who has worn out the “next Vince Young” tag already with recruitniks. The soundtrack, too, may prove to be ironic given what just happened over the weekend.

Put your O’s in the air…um, we mean Ms! Revise! Pryor was one of the early leaks for the Rodriguez story on Rivals.com.

Trooper Taylor, largely regarded as the spark on the Tennessee coaching staff and revered as a recruiter by Vol fans, has been offered the offensive coordinator job at Baylor, meaning that Phil Fulmer can promote him to offensive coordinator, or hire him back in three years when Art Briles is fired and Baylor is looking for another coach, because this is Baylor, Jake. Let it go.

Yes, that describes it perfectly, we think. Alabama is prepping for the PetroChemInternationalTetrahedronCorp Independence Bowl and continuing their conditioning program, which Wallace Gilberry describes in gory fashion:

“Gruesome” is how defensive end Wallace Gilberry described it. “It was the total package. We’d go out and do some simulated training. We bench hard, squat hard, power-clean hard, we grunt hard. Throw up hard, when it’s over.”

Throw up hard describes the last two years of Alabama football with great accuracy, Wallace. We’re working on the t-shirt as we type.

Norm Chow interviewed for the UCLA job on Saturday, meaning that our source may have been premature or merely psychic in saying Chow had been outright offered the job. Either way, we can’t understand not wanting the best offensive mind in college football and architect of something like seven of the top ten scoring offenses of all time working in tandem with, say, someone like Dewayne Walker. Chow’s been around Carroll, Fisher, and Edwards, and even had the good sense to leave the management of Chuck Amato, further testament to his intelligence as a man.



Filed under: All-Conference, Blog Buddies, Coaches, the BCS, scandals, arrests, and other eccentri, College football  by Orson Swindle

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