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WE HAVE NO WORDS...

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We're zipping around the internet in our virtual smart car, puttering along, you know, just thinking of checking the college football schedule on ESPN.com. So we stop by the front page, waiting for the annoying auto-start video to play, when we notice...this.

We honestly can't describe how funny this is. So there. Just look at it, and consider that "FOR THE LOVE OF ROD" is currently the actual headline on ESPN.com. Then close your office door, lay down on the floor, and laugh. And when you stop, remember that A-Rod is allegedly into the "muscular she-male" type, and know that we will only mention the decrepit 19th century garden party game that is baseball when it has to do with major media providers inadvertently making penis-lust jokes.