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Turn off the snark meter for an instant. Difficult, we know, but we swear there's a switch for this. Off? Excellent.

Now critically evaluate the following statement made by Greg Robinson, football coach for Syracuse. Give points for empirical support and evidence presented. Ready, scientists? Empiricize!

I'm good. Just ask me.

"I think my record can show that I'm a good football coach," the 7-26 Robinson said three days after falling to South Florida, 41-10. "Do I make every decision that's perfect? I can't tell you that. No. I believe that if we continue to recruit and continue to get good players, then we're going to be a good football team."

Greg Robinson is 7-26 thus far. His best record at Syracuse was 4-8 in 2006. The average margin of loss for the Orangemen has gone from 17.4 points in 05 to 23.5 points in each loss for 2007, and that's with games against Cincinnati and Connecticut to come. His classes have averaged around 53rd in Rivals' class rankings. He's 2-8 thus far.

By the numbers, this does not support a statement of being a good coach, making this an inaccurate statement at best. He did, according to the report, pound the lectern 24 times in a span of 45 seconds, an average of 1.88 seconds between thumps. This is ample evidence that for all his flaws as a self-evaluator of his own coaching record, he could make a passable drummer.