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SPURRIER WOULDA KICKED SOME TAIL, DANGIT

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Spurrier: would have called out the dogs on the dawgs.

If he had been in Urban Meyer's position in the Georgia game, Steve Spurrier woulda done some whoopin' and a-hollerin' of some sort in response. Or at the very least, according to him, sent a third-stringer out there to do it for the team.

Spurrier said if Gators coach Urban Meyer had known what was going to happen after the Bulldogs' first touchdown last week, he should have sent out ''one of his third-team guys and get in a wrestling match with the guys, get a fight started.''

Spurrier's reasoning? With all of Georgia's players off the bench, they all might get suspended as part of the Southeastern Conference's penalties for fighting.

''Leave the bench in a fight, and you're out the next game,'' Spurrier said. ''That's what we'd do if the other team ever does that.''

Spurrier hasn't checked the Florida depth chart lately, or at least not the defensive depth chart, at least--there is no third string, especially along the d-line and in the secondary. However, suggesting that you deliberately start a fight to get players suspended is downright Lamar Thomas-ish of Spurrier. Why not take the logical step forward and really kick things up?

--Unleash 3rd String DB Moise Paul on the field, who is not actually a human but in truth an intemperate Presa Canario who wears a jersey and sleeps beneath the stadium.

--Hire blimp driven by madman to crash into mobbing Georgia players.

--Send group of tattooed ruffians in baggy pants to challenge Bulldog players to intense dance-off.

--Shoot them all the bird from the sideline. And no, not that pinched, bent-fingered bird, but the big, callous, irresponsible tall man from the West Coast, man. Lay the knuckles flat and let the old waggling fingerdick do the talking.

--Apply bling, hoes, and fat rolls pregame. Stunt and shine so tightly they can't sleep hating on you and lose concentration as their women run paralyzed by your wealth to your sideline and immediately begin begging to make you rich with their street-stalkin' skillz.

(HT: FanIQ.)