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LES MILES BRAIN X-RAYED.

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Some nights, a magical Viking spirit approaches your liver and says, "Tonight, you're riding with Hrothgar, mortal." And Hrothgar the Immortal and Reckless Viking Spirit of Glorious Intoxication rides with you, burninating all that the opponents of the bartending world toss at you: beer, exotic, flaming shots, cocktails, things served in human skulls with umbrellas, whatever. It all falls like so many lesser soldiers to the mighty club of your indomitable liver.

So impressive is your drinking that policemen offer you their cars to drive drunk home with the lights on and siren blaring, handing you loaded weapons out of respect and reverence. Women fall into your arms; gambling wins flutter effortlessly into your pocket. You may, in fact, scream domino and drive the winning tile through the card table as if you were in a video. And just like in the video, you will not be shot by bystanders, but instead nodded at in fear and awe by bystanders, friends and foes alike.

That, friends, is what Les Miles is experiencing right now as head coach of LSU. He has balls for brains, and in 2007, that's been nearly enough. He rides with Hrothgar right now, which means get out of the way, or taste the blade, peasant.


Image courtesy of photoshop ninja LSUFreek of TigerDroppings.com.