CURIOUS INDEX, 10/17/07

Much thanks to everyone who showed up to our Psycho Fan signing in Atlanta. We more than exceeded our goal of hitting double digit attendance and had the bonus pleasure of having our nametag misspelled.

Touchdown! Other guys NBC may not know when Notre Dame actually won its last bowl game, but they make a fine Notre Dame football commercial anyway.

Waterskiing apparel salesmen of Illinois, rejoice. Illinois is mulling giving [NAME REDACTED] a three year contract extension, a piece of news spreading joy among the waterskiing sales community of Illinois. Illinois hopes it will have a positive effect on recruiting. [NAME REDACTED] hopes it will let the missus allow him to buy a sweet new barefooting rig. The [NAME REDACTED] Hook, however, is most unhappy at the news.

That's what you get for nearly upsetting Nebraska, underling. Ball State gets two years probation from the NCAA for handing out $26,944 in textbooks to athletes under the guise of a textbook loan program. Correct: an athletic department is getting in trouble for giving athletes books. Reggie Bush, on hearing this news, laughed so hard he fell off the pile of money and women he sleeps on every night without shame.

Charlie Weis is no genius. If he were, he'd announce Tom Zbikowski as the starting qb against USC in order to get the point spread to around forty points, which worked once already against USC. Instead, the merely smart Weis announced Evan Sharpley as the starter against the Trojans, presumably tossing the junior--not considered the future commandante of the program like Jimmy Clausen is--to be broken in half by USC's defense as a peace offering.

Gimme a mop. The Pac-10's coaching slaughter could be NC-17, Kill Bill/Story of Rikki-Oh gory by the time the red mist settles. Conquest Chronicles noted a Dorrell midseason firing rumor disappeared off the Sporting News in a flash, but assuming Dorrell's done is a safe bet. Bill Doba at Washington State could also be gone and possibly replaced by Mike "Good Times" Price, whom Doba replaced when Price left for the fifteen minutes of his Alabama tenure and then UTEP. Mike Stoops has done Jim Mora diddly-poo at Arizona, a diddly-poo waxing uglier now that Dennis Erickson has put a fresh coat of paint on ASU, put in some hardwood floors, made a lovely walkway with some pavers on sale at Home Depot, and completed the quick-flip of the undefeated Sun Devils.

Oh, and Ty Willingham doesn't make halftime adjustments. It's in the Bible, look it up.

All in all, anywhere from two to four of the Pac-10's coaches could be fired by the end of the season, leaving gaping holes across the board for ADs to fill. Oh, and we know you're looking. We know the golf shirt hangs so tantalizingly around his hunky shoulders, and the Drakkar Noir leaves you wet and breathless. But the Wannstache? He's taken, baby, especially because there's not an AD around to fire him.

For the lover in you.

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