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OPENING WEEKEND: THE ORDER OF BUSINESS

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Press play to hear precisely what our brain sounds like right now.

MP3 File

Proceed.

Things are about to get extremely hectic around here. A three day weekend with a sprawling slate of football games (summarized so well here by Hannibal) requires some serious organization and planning. Therefore, the EDSBSOOB (order of business) over the holiday weekend will be as follows:

Saturday: At Taco Mac in Decatur from 12 to 4ish. Orson will have a great red beard and an EDSBS shirt on, and could possibly be covered in the blood of victory. This is often and easily confused with Buffalo wing sauce, of course, but do not be mistaken. War is hell. People die. Stuff happens.

Sunday: Spot rundown of Saturday to be posted with all due haste, along with picture of sad Big Red, the Western Kentucky mascot. PLUS!!! EDSBS Live! online radio, which is our first Sunday edition of EDSBS Live from 7:00 p.m. to 9:00 p.m. EST, where you can curse with impunity and be the first demand your coach's firing. Guests will join us of a mysterious and impressive nature.

Monday: Extremely light posting--essential deaths, injuries, and major conflagrations covered as needed. Heading at night to Clemson for the Florida State game, where we win either way thanks to someone named Bowden losing.

Tuesday: Posting with extreme fury and frequency. "Buys and Sells" returns, this time with guest editor Hannibal Montegna taking the bulk of the Stranko role in our discussion of who deflated/ballooned their value over the weekend of action. Stranko, in between earning an unholy assbeating from us for posting Jenn Sterger pics, may live to chime in from time to time. May.

We'll also have pics and some WOOOO!TV from the Clemson tailgate. Given that Clemson is located in South Carolina, we may be forced to ask Miss America-style questions about the fate of the world to drunk tailgaters. This will yield positive results, we're sure.

Hydrate. Stretch. Enjoy. This is college football. Cue James Wright, the strains of "O Fortuna" by Carl Orff, and blow the goddamn whistle. It's sturm und drang time, people, and we've got our Siegfried helmet polished up and ready to go.

Autumn Begins In Martins Ferry, Ohio

In the Shreve High football stadium,
I think of Polacks nursing long beers in Tiltonsville,
And gray faces of Negroes in the blast furnace at Benwood,
And the ruptured night watchman of Wheeling Steel,
Dreaming of heroes.

All the proud fathers are ashamed to go home.
Their women cluck like starved pullets,
Dying for love.

Therefore,
Their sons grow suicidally beautiful
At the beginning of October,
And gallop terribly against each other's bodies.