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Step one: Eliminate the Fleshy, Weak Humans. Jay Paterno puts humanity one step closer to subjugation under the cruel reign of Skynet by turning over his quarterback training to a Playstation 3 with the Penn State playbook preloaded on it. Penn State fans, after years of stunted growth in the quarterbacking department under Jay's tenure at qbs coach, probably accept this as an improvement, and happily welcome the metal ones.

Mike Riley's having a twosome. Oregon State will start a quarterback rotation on Thursday night against Utah, with Sean Canfield getting the first quarter and Lyle Moevao (Vowel Champion qb!) getting the second quarter snaps. Based on the results of the first half, the coaches will make a decision on who gets the bulk of the second half work. This never works.

Have you any sense of decency sir, at long last? This Big Ten Network fiasco has burned enough bridges when it interferes with the good, innocent rubber chicken dinners of this nation. You just fucked with an event at the Minneapolis Holiday Inn Mahetewoc Room, Comcast. Prepare to die.

Fatter Softer Slower Weaker=good for football, we guess. On the heels of the latest awesome obesity study showing that Americans will soon disturb the gravity of the planet with their own density, we have some happy news, at least: Papa John's is taking its cut of the obesity epidemic and putting 10 million dollars toward Louisville's stadium expansion. This should, of course, include reinforced seating, thicker support pillars, and garlic butter IVs in premium seating.

That's 'playa's' coach, not 'player.' Larry Coker says he's been unfairly tagged as a "player's coach." We think it's a matter of spelling: Miami would only hire a playa's coach, as evidenced by Larry Coker's showing up to pick up recruits in a white Escalade on recruiting visits. Some people stay pimpin' forever. We know LC will.

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