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TEEBO/TEBOW: AN EWOK OF EXCELLENCE.

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While we're waiting for someone to explain whether Sammie Stroughter is going to play football or not this year...

Oddity abounds. For instance, we write this blog under the name of a former head of the Federal Trade Commission and spokesperson for the 1992 Ross Perot campaign. That's odd--almost as odd as the fact that Big Boi of Outkast wanted to record an entire album as "Billy Ocean," or the fact that Kentucky went 8-5 last year.

(It is not odder than Michigan not putting Chad Henne in the shotgun more in the second half against USC. That's one of the strangest things we've ever seen along with "Reggie Ball, 4 year starter in D-1 football," and "Buddy Teevens, head coach." But we digress...)

Anyway, our Samoan lawyer called us and said this to us yesterday:

SL: Dood.
OS: Dood.
SL: There's an Ewok named Teebo.
OS: ...
SL: The firstborn. His name. That's all you owe me.

So, one firstborn later, yeah, there's an Ewok named Teebo, which isn't spelled the same way but sure sounds the same as our beloved baby rhino Florida quarterback. Like Tebow, he's got a mentor who taught him things: in Teebo's case, it was magic, "which for some reason usually doesn't end up very well." We're forced to assume by "magic" they mean "the inevitable, brain-fucking interception/turnover Chris Leak committed every game sometime in the first three minutes of the first quarter." We can't wait to see it.

Teebo also fails to live up to his real-life homophone by getting punked by R2/D2 in Return of the Jedi--he's the one who R2 zaps when the Ewok gets too curious. Oh, and Teebo's about three feet shorter, is covered in fur, and sucks because he's an Ewok, and not even a particularly badass one, either. (The only badass Ewok in the movie is the one who bangs away at the leg of a moving AT/ST with a club. We call him "Reggie Nelson.")

According to Wookiepedia, Teebo did inspire this quote "I've never seen anyone more worthy of my tears! You are a true hero, young Teebo." This quote may be worth the three days of vagina-free living we'll have to endure as a result of even coming into contact with a site called "Wookiepedia."