Kestahn Moore has discovered the little edge he needed to secure a likely starting spot at tailback for the Florida Gators: a swim cap.
WHHHEEEEEEEE!!!
We’re donning our swim cap tonight as we go to the Deadspin Pants Party at Turner Field, where we plan to figure out this Bayes-ball we keep hearing about. (Who knew sport and advanced statistical analysis could be combined in a single endeavor? Ingenious.) Peter Bean is coming into town, so expect Texas-sized shenannigans on the weekend.
Oh, and go pick up a Penthouse. You have an excuse besides “mmm, love me some vagina photography,” as Pete Schrager’s college football preview is in it as well as a few quotes from yours truly. We did not pose for the magazine, however, as we’re still under contract to Sweet Action for our stunning nude talents.
From Venezuela, we cull the finest of cheesecake not yet nationalized by Hugo Chavez as part of the state. We had to hurry, though-Gaby Espino is a definite natural resource of the country, and will surely be nationalized soon as a “beer-toting, bunda-tastic national treasure the people must share and share equally.”
For now, though, we share her with the Republic of EDSBS alone. Enjoy.
That’s just a warm-up. If you do not think beer goes with cheesecake, you are horribly, horribly wrong. Check after the jump for proof.
Bunda’s on the way-never fear!-but in the meantime, remember that the wishbone is the antidote to alien invasion, not the foreign viruses and bacteria of this world. H.G. Wells didn’t know shit, man.
Yes, there’s Michigan players finally being charged for “stomping on the victim’s head while wearing heavy boots during the fray,” a case which earns Michigan five more points to put them at a respectable 15 points total for the campaign for the Fulmer Cup. (Breakdown: Felony assault=3, two cases of misdemeanor assault, one point each.)
But the major breaking story today is the news out of State College, PA: two Penn State football players, Andrew Quarless and Willie Harriott, were caught drinking on campus and cited for underage consumption, piddly charges with the combined significance of a field goal. Field goals don’t count for much in the first quarter, but they’ll snap backs in the fourth quarter, which is precisely where we’re at in the competition right now. The two one-point offenses combine to put Penn State-BRAAAAAAAINS!!!-into a one point lead over the Illini for the 2007 Fulmer Cup, 25-24.
Again: a [NAME REDACTED] team has blown a fourth quarter lead in spectacular fashion. We’re speechless. (HT: Run Up The Score.)
Defeat. It has a thousand forms. This is one.
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Orson Swindle and Stranko Montana are two men pushing thirty who should know better than to run a college football blog, but evidently don't. Both graduated from the University of Florida, and both agree that college football is far too important to be left to the professionals.
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Comments? Questions? Long strings of profanities directed at something we said? Please send your comments to harumphharumph -a- yahoo -dot- com. Please direct all tailgating photos and stories to edsbsfans -a- gmail -dot- com.
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