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We can't wait to post it with the rest of this year's "Orson's Favorite Things" piece, so here it is, the solution to all your problems involving weddings and other forms of human interaction conflicting with your viewing of an ABC/CBS/NBC/FOX game broadcast on local frequencies.

America, Fuck Yeah: the NHJ Portable Television.

How awesome is the EDSBS bride, The Conscience of a Nation? So awesome that SHE suggested we purchase this immediately. Too bad for her: in case you wonder how we're going to die, it's most likely while pounding the face of this watch in following a Florida turnover viewed while driving to the store for ice for our ninth vodka and tonic of the day. Hand hits watch on wrist, turns car into oncoming traffic, and we're done. That's totally how it's going to happen, and it will be all your fault, Tim Tebow!

Mangino might actually look small on this screen, though, so there's good news for someone in this.

Enjoy your weekend.